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Old 12-23-2009, 01:31 AM
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texan_idiot25 texan_idiot25 is offline
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Default Texan's review of Left 4 Dead...

Early Xmas present! Toshiba Satillite laptop, like 2.2ghz dual core processor, 3 gig ram, 200 gig hdd, and all that jazz for $400. Oh, and unlike my last PC, it can infact rock at PC games.



And to test this theory, I start with a game which I was uncertain would run on this thing. Why? Due to massive... massive numbers of mindless jombies bum-rushing you as you light off a pair of hand canons in a desperate attempt to ward off the hordes of zombies.

We start off on a roof top level. A table full of ammo and 3 commrads are all you have to start with as you make your venture down stairs



And so the insanity begins...

The developers give a nice touch in the last words written on the walls of the various safe houses. Many of these are written bathroom stall style where a passing surviver leaves a note for a loved one, or to other survivers (and player) as to where to go. Helps immerse you in the end-of-the-world feeling that is... THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.




The game does not give you much in the way of direct hints as to where to progress, but the levels are layed out logically and the markings on the walls from the other survivers are well placed hints when it just seems like you can't figure where to go.


(DO NOT MAKE COFFEE during Zombie apocalypse)

It also has the habit of keeping things quiet... and then...

20 MOTHER CHUNKING ZOMBIES BUM RUSH YOU



And that's it to the game, basically. You annihilate waves of zombies in route to the next safe house. No real plot, no reason for them, just massive numbers of zombies. And while that sounds like a bad idea... It's the best idea. When you play Resident Evil, do you REALLY give a shart about the president's daughter? Or any of the tomfoolery of some cult that likes to hire cheap ZOMBIE LABOR to do their dirty work? HELL NO!

You want to massacre zombies. Lots. And Left 4 Dead allows this. It revels in Zombie Slaughter (Zombie Civil rights are still pretty pathetic).

So, here's blood guts and a few ideas.



Molotove Cocktails > Pipe Bombs







DO NOT STARTLE THE WITCH! You hear a crying girl, and will eventually see a white figure crouching in a red glow. Leave the bitc... Witch alone.

She takes you down, and starts clawing. If your compadres are not close, you are doomed. Period.

WATCH OUT, listen for Hunters. Your mates will also call them out if they hear it. He's a fast, jumpy mofo. If Spiderman had succumbed to the Zombie Apocalypse, he'd spawn these *** holes. They jump off walls, takle you, and start ripping out your flesh. And you're doomed with out your buddies.




Gas cans are useful. Pick up,


throw at target,


shoot,


roast for 30 seconds, laugh.


Do not wake up the witch.



Watch for the fat men known as Boomers. They're great for helping to clear out the Zombie crowd when you kill them (guess what happens), but their vomit blinds you, and attracts a horde of zombies on YOU. You may survive with out your amigos



Shoot. Everything.



















Oh, and please.. DO not wake up the Witch.



And finally, did you know that Zombies are fans of Parkour?
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You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible, hot pink, with whale
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around in that baby at 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon.

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Old 12-23-2009, 02:08 AM
lol lol is offline
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Nice, add me on Steam if you want. I got Left 4 Dead.
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Old 12-23-2009, 02:17 AM
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texan_idiot25 texan_idiot25 is offline
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I'm doing steam now, shall have to annihilate zombies together...

But I don't have a mic
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You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible, hot pink, with whale
skin hubcaps and all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights. Yeah! And I'm gonna drive
around in that baby at 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon.

I may be king of the idiots, but my kingdom is vast and my subjects are everywhere
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Old 12-23-2009, 09:11 AM
winner winner is offline
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i havent seen tht much blood since my parents divorce
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