[BART]

Originally Posted by suicide_star

First off, let me say that the entire "been there, done that" thing doesn't really apply. Everybody gets depressed from different situations or occurances, because we're raised differently and live in different environments. I've had a girl much like the one that you've mentioned. (I was in 12th grade). She'd had a miscarriage for an 18 year old when she was 14. She did lots of drugs, smoked, her dad was a jobless alcoholic, her mom was dying of cancer and I felt very sorry for her and thought that I could make everything better for her. To tell you the truth, all I did was waste my time. After her mother died, she was out of control, started doing more drugs, and doing very bad things. I've never tried cigarettes or drugs, so this was all stressing me out and very, very frustrating for me. Just remember that if you're drowning, having somebody else tugging on your leg beneath you won't help you. It's all dandy to try and help somebody else out, but you need to realize that it won't do you much good unless you've got your life sorted out. I'm not saying any of this to get you down, but from my experiences and observations throughout the years, it's far more effective to help others when you've at least got the resources to help yourself first. I know how you feel about this girl, I feel the same way about my girlfriend. I'll do anything to make her happy and I put her before myself, but it's very mutual and instead of sitting down and crying about things or feeling sorry for ourselves, we've been working towards building a wonderful life together. Blue hair, cuts on your wrists, and being antisocial is only a phase. You'll grow out of it and learn how to climb out of the hole instead of digging it deeper. Good luck with everything.

Your turning in to our resident philosopher, i like it My marriage kind of started the same as your story, my wife was a mess. A lot of years and a lot of work later, were now in the vast minority of those who made it.