Not new, not improved. It's me again.

[firebird999]

I've changed a lot since I left here and I decided I might as well come back.

When I was here before, I loved everyone and I got ****ed when you dissed. But that's not me anymore. I've decided that by hating people for hating people, I'm no better than them. You think you know where I'm going, but it's not that good. :/ See, it's not that I show respect for everyone now, even the a**holes. I still hate the a**holes. I hate the people who they hate, too. As a matter of fact, I hate everyone. Even myself. But don't let that bother you, although I'm sure it doesn't. I'm going to keep that outside the forum, and I'm going to show as much respect as I can inside the forum. It's a new me. :)
Besides, what forum is complete without an emo kid?


(Also, MrAcurate. Hey Ron! :D This is .ecyrB from PCA.)


EDIT: I was never in a crash like I said I was. I made it all up, and I feel like a douchebag for doing so. Sorry.

[lol]

hi

[firebird999]

Hey. :) That's all I want from everyone else, too. Just a simple "Hi" or "Welcome back." A fresh start, please. :)

[Kaze]

Donde esta la biblioteca? =P





(yes my way of saying hi)

[Hiyoto]

Hello

[BART]

Donde esta la biblioteca? =P





(yes my way of saying hi)

"where is the library" is your way of saying hi??????

[winner]

****ed when you dissed

he's come back as a rap artist :D

lol just messing with ya, welcome back :)

[KITT222]

Welcome back dude. Hope you're a new you. I was wondering where you went.

[Donziikid]

Welcome back.

[mycrors4]

Hi. Hey. Hola. Aloha. Parev. Hello. ugh lets see what else i can think of :D

[firebird999]

Haha. :) Thanks everyone. Yeah, I'm a new me. Half of you won't like the new me, but I'm sure a lot of you will.

[XMDrifter]

Learn chinese in 5 seconds:
Great----------------------------------------------------------Fa Kin Su Pah

welcome back

[2jack3jack]

Dude I'm sorry for saying this but what's the point of appologising toa forum. I'm glade your back and everything but when I read this I was like wow the kid needs attention. I don't know you but if you make up astory about getting into a wrexk that's just odd. Glade your back tho I really hope you have changed and not only on the forum.

[suicide_star]

Of course, every forum needs an emo, redundant philosopher kid that's been reborn from their absence.

[lol]

"where is the library" is your way of saying hi??????

Donde esta la biblioteca? =P





(yes my way of saying hi)

Learn chinese in 5 seconds:
Great----------------------------------------------------------Fa Kin Su Pah

welcome back

LOL! OMG! ROFLMFAO!

[firebird999]

2jack3jack, you're exactly right. That was stupid. I've had a pretty bad life. I just wanted people to care for me. But then I found what I wanted in the real world. After I met her, I became my actual self. I didn't strive for the world to like me anymore. I had everything I needed. So I was able to hate the world again... When I found an alternate use for my Xmod knife, I realized that I was a completely different person. I figured I might as well give myself a second chance everywhere that I screwed up. This might be the biggest place. I'm going to make up for my errors and I hope to have fun in the process. I'm a new person.

[2jack3jack]

Dude I've been there done that. Word of advice your only in high school probly a freshmen use thos 4 or five years to your advantage. I'm almost done with hs and there is nothing more that I would like that to go back and change ****. You only get one life be yourself if people don't like it then tell them to f off. Live life to the fullest I started doing that best desision I made

[monsterhunter]

Dude I've been there done that. Word of advice your only in high school probly a freshmen use thos 4 or five years to your advantage. I'm almost done with hs and there is nothing more that I would like that to go back and change ****. You only get one life be yourself if people don't like it then tell them to f off. Live life to the fullest I started doing that best desision I made

man listen to what hes saying, true stuff, just be your self all the time. even if your down/sad/depressed, or anything. be your self no matter what its always best. find your true friends and your set. live life to the fullest and just keep going. lose a gf? you will get over it and find new no matter how much it hurts trust me, cant get the girl you like? dont give up. learn from the past live for the present and plan for the future. thats all i can say for now.

[winner]

2jack3jack, you're exactly right. That was stupid. I've had a pretty bad life. I just wanted people to care for me. But then I found what I wanted in the real world. After I met her, I became my actual self. I didn't strive for the world to like me anymore. I had everything I needed. So I was able to hate the world again... When I found an alternate use for my Xmod knife, I realized that I was a completely different person. I figured I might as well give myself a second chance everywhere that I screwed up. This might be the biggest place. I'm going to make up for my errors and I hope to have fun in the process. I'm a new person.

Ehh been there, done that, have the scars to remember it by and am hated by those people for telling them to gtfo of my life so I could be a better person even after they almost got me arrested and put in juvy

[firebird999]

Oh yeah, I do. But life is hard on me. And I found someone who's worse off than me. I don't care what happens to my life. I want to help hers be great. I know what a lot of you are thinking. You think I'm just a kid who thinks he's met the perfect girl and will never find anyone better, and blah blah blah. No, that's not the case. Hell yeah, she's ****ing perfect. She even likes cars as much as I do. But I don't care. Even if we're never together, she will always be my best friend at least. I want the best for her. Believe me, you may think I'm being an idiot here. You all want to tell me that I'm making a big mistake. I don't care. I've made enough. I'm the kind of guy who will forfeit everything to help someone less fortunate. Look at any touring car race that's ever happened. Whenever somebody crashes, most people drive by and keep trying to win it for themselves. But there's always that one guy who stops his car and helps. The one guy who gives up just to make sure that his own opponent is okay. That's me. I've already given up. She crashed her car and was out of the race. I didn't just stop to help her. I'm giving her my car so she can finish in it. I'm going to ruin my own life to make hers better. I know what I'm doing. I don't care. I would even take a bullet for her. Literally. If she is ever threatened in any way, by anyone, I'll take the blow. Even if it's fatal. I don't care. I will live in this world as long as she's there. If I have to choose between letting her go or myself, it's an obvious choice. She's attempted suicide before. Three times. All failures. I'm hardly what's keeping her alive. And she's also what's keeping me alive. We've had long deep discussions about it. If one of us ever goes, the other will be soon to follow. And so we live on, together but apart.

And if you think that's bad, I can say more.


EDIT: @Monsterhunter- Yesterday is history, and tomorrow's a mystery. But right now is everything. I don't care what's already happened and I don't care what will happen.I live in the present and I don't give a f*ck what's happening around me. It's not about myself anymore.

[2jack3jack]

The whole emo click thing just caused me problems after I relised that If I need to dress weird and not be my self just to get attention then I was stupid.

[firebird999]

It has nothing to do with getting attention. If you're truly emo, you know. People hate us. So we let them know we don't care. Getting bad looks only means you're doing it right. Sometimes I hang out near little kids. They all laugh at my blue hair, and I just smile at them, then eventually end up talking to them. Little kids are the future in person. I want them to live right. And when their parents look over, I put my wrists in plain sight. That's my way of saying "What do you think about us now?"

...To which they normally reply "Come on kids, we need to leave. Right now."

I love it. :)

[2jack3jack]

alright sry I better stop lol I have this thing were I get made at people who say there emo.

[firebird999]

It's understandable. I just rewrote my post, and it goes along with what you just said. Haha. I love haters.

[XMDrifter]

i've had those moments, and they have stuck with me in my memory. and yes i too would take a bullet for my loved one, but really, don't wreck your life to save another. instead, just keep building your life up so you have more than enough life to spare for her. do you get what i'm saying?

it seems you're suffering of oneandonly-itis. don't let it pull you down. go ahead and help her. just don't destroy everything that defines you in order to get her back up on her feet. Trust me, you don't want to go there. i've hit that barrier before. it hurts like hell, deep deep in your own self. the faster you get out of that, the faster you can get her out of her predicament as well. you know, there's a saying in my family that goes "A blind man can't take another blind man as a guide." you gotta pull yourself out before you can pull anybody else out.

emo, idc really. you can dress however you want. you can do whatever you want as long as it's not hurting anybody. nobody really cares too much if you cut yourself. they do care if it starts to affect other ppl

[2jack3jack]

O I'm not a hater I just think its funny emos have to strive for attention so much. To be honest its pathetic

[TheB1GDude]

OK all I think 2 pages of guys sharing their emotions is a little much so hows about we just welcome firebird back and then remember that this is an RC forum.....

[firebird999]

I know what you mean. And you're right. But there is another way. I can give everything I've got to help her, and then, if she really cares about me the way I know she does, she can help me. She deserves it first. Her life is miserable.

Her parents met in high school. They found some time alone and, one thing led to another, her mom had her before she was even a high school senior. Her dad left. Her mom had to drop out to take care of her. Her dad manipulated her mom into believing it was her own fault, so she didn't request any child support. Her dad went all the way through college and is rich. Her mom never graduated high school and is poor. Her dad won't give anything to either of them. Her one and only Christmas present from her very own father was a nice, new... $10 bill. Yay. He really cares...

And that's not the worst of it. Her current boyfriend is exactly like the father she never had. EXACTLY. He manipulates her. She admits that he's abusive and mean to her. She tried to get away one time. Her second boyfriend did worse than cheat on her. He cheated on his actual girlfriend with her. So she doesn't know what's right anymore. She understandably thinks that the abusive boyfriend is good, so she's with him again. She told me that she would love to be with me especially considering it would mean getting away from him. But she's too scared. I don't know what to do.


EDIT: Sorry B1G. I took a while typing this up. Let it sit as the end of this strange discussion, and if anyone has anything further to add you can PM me.

[kungpow420]

dude you have ****ing problems with your head go smoke a bowl and chill out.

[M0DEL]

Wonderful! Welcome back!

Now, personal opinion, you owe explanation to no one.
Leave it at that. (:

@kungpow420 SHHH! don't be the influence.. lol ;p

[65mustangrock]

Its good to hear you turned over a new leaf and have and new perspective on life. You cant change yesterday but you can do anything with tomarrow
and welcome back

[firebird999]

Haha. Thanks everyone. :)

kungpow, I'm not trying to start anything, but just because you have a different perspective on life from mine doesn't mean I have problems. For all we know, maybe you have problems. There's no "correct" way to think.

But like I said before, if you have anything else to add, just PM it.

[suicide_star]

First off, let me say that the entire "been there, done that" thing doesn't really apply. Everybody gets depressed from different situations or occurances, because we're raised differently and live in different environments. I've had a girl much like the one that you've mentioned. (I was in 12th grade). She'd had a miscarriage for an 18 year old when she was 14. She did lots of drugs, smoked, her dad was a jobless alcoholic, her mom was dying of cancer and I felt very sorry for her and thought that I could make everything better for her. To tell you the truth, all I did was waste my time. After her mother died, she was out of control, started doing more drugs, and doing very bad things. I've never tried cigarettes or drugs, so this was all stressing me out and very, very frustrating for me. Just remember that if you're drowning, having somebody else tugging on your leg beneath you won't help you. It's all dandy to try and help somebody else out, but you need to realize that it won't do you much good unless you've got your life sorted out. I'm not saying any of this to get you down, but from my experiences and observations throughout the years, it's far more effective to help others when you've at least got the resources to help yourself first. I know how you feel about this girl, I feel the same way about my girlfriend. I'll do anything to make her happy and I put her before myself, but it's very mutual and instead of sitting down and crying about things or feeling sorry for ourselves, we've been working towards building a wonderful life together. Blue hair, cuts on your wrists, and being antisocial is only a phase. You'll grow out of it and learn how to climb out of the hole instead of digging it deeper. Good luck with everything.

[BART]

First off, let me say that the entire "been there, done that" thing doesn't really apply. Everybody gets depressed from different situations or occurances, because we're raised differently and live in different environments. I've had a girl much like the one that you've mentioned. (I was in 12th grade). She'd had a miscarriage for an 18 year old when she was 14. She did lots of drugs, smoked, her dad was a jobless alcoholic, her mom was dying of cancer and I felt very sorry for her and thought that I could make everything better for her. To tell you the truth, all I did was waste my time. After her mother died, she was out of control, started doing more drugs, and doing very bad things. I've never tried cigarettes or drugs, so this was all stressing me out and very, very frustrating for me. Just remember that if you're drowning, having somebody else tugging on your leg beneath you won't help you. It's all dandy to try and help somebody else out, but you need to realize that it won't do you much good unless you've got your life sorted out. I'm not saying any of this to get you down, but from my experiences and observations throughout the years, it's far more effective to help others when you've at least got the resources to help yourself first. I know how you feel about this girl, I feel the same way about my girlfriend. I'll do anything to make her happy and I put her before myself, but it's very mutual and instead of sitting down and crying about things or feeling sorry for ourselves, we've been working towards building a wonderful life together. Blue hair, cuts on your wrists, and being antisocial is only a phase. You'll grow out of it and learn how to climb out of the hole instead of digging it deeper. Good luck with everything.
Your turning in to our resident philosopher, i like it;) My marriage kind of started the same as your story, my wife was a mess. A lot of years and a lot of work later, were now in the vast minority of those who made it.

[firebird999]

Wow. You are totally right. I wish you were a bit earlier though... :/ I certainly am helping her... I know it for a fact. She's become a different person since I met her. I can't leave now. I want to, but it's just not possible... She's like drugs. Once you have a taste, you just can't stop.

[lol]

Drugs R Bad. Get caught, arrested, jailed, your life goes down the drain. My mom's friend, her son, deals drugs and uses them, got caught. He's almost homeless now, no one wants to hire a druggie. I see my friends do drugs, I just watch without word, at least they don't pressure me.

[Kaze]

I know a bit late and in between a lot of long explanations and story sharing, but yes Bart, My way of saying hello sometimes is from quoting dodgeball (good movie).

Those of your who remember Dodgeball, the main character went into his hotel room in las vegas, and ben stiller's charater asks "Donde esta la biblioteca"

[firebird999]

Drugs R Bad. Get caught, arrested, jailed, your life goes down the drain. My mom's friend, her son, deals drugs and uses them, got caught. He's almost homeless now, no one wants to hire a druggie. I see my friends do drugs, I just watch without word, at least they don't pressure me.

I'm not saying I do drugs. Well, I do over the counter drugs when I need them, but that's different. I'm just saying she's like drugs.

[suicide_star]

Wow. You are totally right. I wish you were a bit earlier though... :/ I certainly am helping her... I know it for a fact. She's become a different person since I met her. I can't leave now. I want to, but it's just not possible... She's like drugs. Once you have a taste, you just can't stop.

I understand where you're coming from. Just make sure that you don't get taken advantage of. From experience, even if you do get somebody back on their feet, they won't hesitate to walk all over you. Especially if you haven't gotten your stuff straight and the role reverses to where you become a burden to them. Just remember, in the long run, relationships need to be very reciprocal to work out. I learned this the hard way.

[xmodkidd33]

Bryce! <3

[firebird999]

Oh man. I'm ready to go home, vomit all of my organs out, cut myself straight down to the bone, and then die. To be honest, I'm not sure why... :/ But I think it's her.


EDIT: Okay. It is her. I know it. I need help. I can't get help from you... I need to talk to someone in person... But I can't tell anyone... I have no friends in the real world except her. Literally. I don't know what to do.

[TheB1GDude]

Why not call one of those good will helplines.... that will give you someone to talk to without any pressure.

[winner]

Oh man. I'm ready to go home, vomit all of my organs out, cut myself straight down to the bone, and then die. To be honest, I'm not sure why... :/ But I think it's her.

before you read this i want you to know that i have nothing against you.

tbh, i think you need to put your big boy pants on and get over it. sounds to me like this is another scheme to get attention and make people feel bad for you. the best thing for you to do is to just lay low be a normal member. it bothers me that you consider yourself emo. being emo is not just cutting yourself, its an entire life style that leads to no good.

thats all im saying. rantish thing over

[firebird999]

Dude, I don't want attention. All I want is help. I trust you guys...

[TheB1GDude]

Listen kid I hate to tell you this but these are the last bunch of random people you want help from, you haven't meet any of us, we don't know you personally none of the advice we can give you will be helpful.... as I've already suggested go call a free helpline and talk through your problems with someone who has experience.

[M0DEL]

Control yourself? (:
I can respect a person who can honestly say they have full control over themselves.

And what makes advice off of this forum so helpful? These people are here for RC cars, not to mediate your life and decisions. I'm sure they've got a handful of their own.

And, can I stress how irrelevant this is? Seriously, go find someone who will come to you when you find yourself in the hospital (not literally..), and hang onto that person. I can guarantee there are so many you 'think' will be there, but wont.

[BART]

Speaking from experience, call 911. go through the bullcrap and embarrassment of dealing with the EMT's and ER doctors, get a good nights sleep away from everything and accept the required evaluation. Trust me, it's the hardest, yet most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life. This thread has gone too far, PM me or someone else you feel comfortable with if you truly want help.